LaLaGirl – Twinfinite Chaos! Parenting Multiples and Dealing with Autism

Every day, I pick my kids up from elementary school, and almost every day, we spend the next 45 minutes on the playground, killing time before it’s time to pick up my oldest from middle school. So, I do a whole lot of people watching, and I eavesdrop on other parents’ conversations, and occasionally, I have a fabulous conversation of my very own! (And I live for those days. I have to contain myself, so I don’t jump up and down clapping, and saying things like, “You’re paying attention to me! You’re letting me into your mommy clique! You’re considering inviting me to bunco, aren’t you? Yay!”)

Today, I watched a guy having a whole lot of fun with his kids. And actually? I’m not fully convinced they were his kids. I’m guessing they were his nephews. Actual dads are not usually so enthusiastic about playing with their children, and they usually embrace the caregiver role in such a way that they, y’know, lead by example. They don’t wobble and shake the entire play structure by walking across the top of the monkey bars. They don’t climb up the outside tube of the slide, 12 feet up off the ground. And they generally don’t show up saggin’ in sweat pants that only cover the bottom half of their ass.

This guy looked like he was having a lot of fun. I watched as he chased a pair of boys all over the playground, up the slide, through tunnels, across bridges, and around posts – pausing momentarily to hitch his pants back up about every minute. At one point, his pants FELL DOWN TO HIS KNEES! The only thing separating his pale white ass and the rest of the playground was a pair of white boxers. And even when his pants weren’t down around his knees, they were still…um…sort of showing off the goods, y’know? Hell, he could even stand to go up a size in the t-shirt. Cover that shit UP, Li’l Kim – the kids are watching!

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Gah! Dammit. I keep trying to write this post, and then the phone rings or something and I get all distracted and then nothing I’ve written looks right so I delete it all. Okay, so I’m going to just type really fast so I can finish it!

I have a mystery ailment!! I know I’ve already mentioned it, right? Weird abdominal pain, way down low, on my right side. It’s been constant for…12 days now. I went to my doctor on Wednesday, and she couldn’t find a thing wrong with me. She ordered tests and I had my blood and my peepee all examined and evidently, I am perfectly healthy. Except that I’m in pain for no apparent reason! So, she prescribed me some antibiotics and said if it didn’t go away in a few days, to follow up with radiology and have an ultrasound done. But, if anything got worse, to get seen again immediately.

So I felt like a sackful of ass all day yesterday. It was my worst day yet. I mostly was just lazy all day, and then I really started feeling lousy about the time we sat down for dinner. We did the girls’ birthday cake and all that (which was really fun, and so cute, and if you haven’t checked out the pictures in Flickr yet, GO. Now! Comment on the abundance of cuteness, and then come back and finish reading this.) and I was feeling worse and worse, and eventually I told Paul I thought we should just go to the ER. So that’s what we did. We spent about 5 hours at the hospital, where I got poked and prodded and had a CATHETER (fun!) and a CAT scan and they can’t find anything wrong with me. They think it *might* be a kidney stone, although they really didn’t SEE one on the scan. I’m just annoyed now!

They DID give me a nice little prescription for Percoset, so that’s improved my day greatly, but still – I’m so annoyed that nobody can find anything wrong with me!! At the same time, I’m relieved to see I don’t have a giant tumor or an alien growing in there or something. So, I haven’t been online much – mostly just lying in my bed, feeling pitiful.

And Paul is still BUSY with the frickety frackin club, so I have to actually venture out into the world and go pick up K from school in a minute. Wah. Wahhhhhh.

So, whoever is out there poking the Laura voodoo doll with a pin, KNOCK IT THE HELL OFF.

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