I have nothing to write about. Here’s why.

1. My husband doesn’t like me sharing our bidness.
2. I’ve been burned about 2,437 times because something I wrote here was misconstrued or taken ridiculously out of context.
3. It freaks me out knowing that people spend hours going through my archives, after landing here from searches for “kids in the bathtub.”
4. After writing here for ten years, most of you pretty much know exactly who and what I’m writing about, even if I try to be vague or use catchy nicknames. Booooo.
5. I used to be able to count on one hand the number of folks I know in real life who read my blog. That number has increased exponentially since I friended half my neighborhood on Facebook.
6. There’s just not that much to say about sitting on my ass at home with four little kids. Guess what: we made pizza! We went to the park! We went to Tokyo Joes! We got out the Play-Doh! We painted our toenails! We tipped over every piece of furniture in the living room searching for lost quarters! We snuck into sissie’s room and ate her Easter candy and Silly String’d her Alice in Wonderland poster! We colored with Sharpies on the coffee table! We drove Mommy to drink! Yay! Lather, rinse, repeat.
7. You’re probably well aware that it snows in Colorado during the springtime, and that the weather patterns here are a little bit on the ridiculous side. I’ve drilled that into you, right? Yes? Okay, we’re good. Did I mention it’s snowing today? No? But you could have guessed that, based on the fact that it’s April and I’ve updated my blog? Okay.
8. I think I’ve exhausted the topic of INSANE TEENAGERS. This feels like a horse I’ve beaten to death over and over. It’s like a zombie horse now. A zombie horse wearing skinny jeans, rolling its eyes at me, with a sparkly purple bow in its mane.
9. My kids have been off track from school and home with me for a week and a half now, and we still have WEEKS yet to go. They’re sucking up my brain cells with their Miley Cyrus songs and unending Spongebob episodes and endless bickering. I understand what the Grinch was going through, when he bitched about the noise, noise, noise, NOISE! They were once my muses, but now they’re siphoning away all my inspiration.

Interesting content scheduled to return soon. I hope.