Are you kidding me with this?

Twenty-four days? Really? Wow. I guess it’s been a MINUTE since I last blogged. I was thinking to myself earlier, “I haven’t sat down to write in such a long time – a week and a half, easily.” Uh, nope. It’s been since OCTOBER 21ST! And even that wasn’t a legit blog post. Wow. Were you scared? I’m sorry. Mama didn’t mean to abandon you, loyal readership.

Here’s a bit of what I’ve been up to.

Girl Scouts! Dude. I’m a Girl Scout leader. ME. I’m in charge of a whole, darling little troop of Kindergarten Daisies, and I looooove it.

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It helps that two of them belong to me, and it also helps that every single girl in the troop is adorable and delightful, and I’m so looking forward to all the things in store for us this year. So, yeah. Three Girl Scouts in the house. Holla!

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Speaking of Girl Scouts…we had a Halloween Dance for all the Girl Scouts at our kids’ school, and guess who the awesome, amazing, kickass DJ was? You know it. DJ Pauly Paul. Those kids (and their parents!) didn’t know what to think when they walked in and saw the whole gym bumping, with music videos projected across the whole gym ceiling and all the walls lit up with lasers and lights. It was unbelievable. Mallory’s troop hosted the event, and I’m trying to find her a “My Dad is the DJ” patch for her vest. Haha! The little girls have “My Mom is the Leader” on their tunics, so why not?

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Here’s another fun thing that happened recently – my nephew Casey stopped by for dinner one night while he was in town. My kids LOVE Casey so much – he always spends the bulk of his visiting time wrestling around with them, tickling them, chasing them, etc. They eat it up. Here they are with their big cousin, Casey.

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And here’s Pabi with Casey – they are special buddies, those two.

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Here’s another big thing that’s kept me busy the past few weeks – well, the prep work and the eventual clean-up, I should say. We had a big old huge Halloween party for the kiddos! It was so much fun! Pablo and Mallory wanted a birthday party with their classmates and other school friends, and it just didn’t pan out for whatever reason. So Mallory approached us about having a Halloween Dance Party, and I thought it was a stellar idea. We decked out the whole basement in spooky Halloween decor and Paul video mixed a whole playlist of Halloween songs and grade school favorites. (Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber were played A LOT. Like, A. LOT.)

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We literally had almost 50 kids here at one point. It was CRAZY. My parents came over and my dad had the most awesome amused/terrified/overwhelmed expression – it was like trying to make your way through the club on the weekend, except everyone was four feet tall and under. So much fun! Our poor play structure, though. I thought it was going to give way! One kid brought Paul a BOLT – I wonder what that fell out of?

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And over and over again, parents said things to me like, “You’re so brave!” and “How are you dealing with all these kids?” I guess I’m finding my niche. Those years of having four kids in diapers prepared me for the life I lead today! Seeing a bazillion kids running around insane didn’t bother me a bit – I love the chaos. What the hell is wrong with me? Obviously I’m not right. But then, I don’t think anyone else in my family is quite right either. Have y’all seen the electric chair man Paul built? We scared the pants off of so many parents at the party – good times; good times. More than a few of them called us TWISTED. What?

My little ones don’t think he’s scary – here they are posing with him on Halloween night!

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Pauly and I took the kids out trick-or-treating while Kayley stayed home to pass out candy and scare people with the electric chair man. She wasn’t mean about it, though – she only scared middle-schoolers and high schoolers – they’re the most fun to scare anyway!

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Man, I just looooove Halloween. I’m sad the month went by so quickly. I just finally (tonight!) packed away the last of the Halloween decorations, and I was sad to put them away. But do you know what I love? YO GABBA GABBA! (I know this isn’t news to you.) And last weekend, I took my kiddos to see Yo Gabba Gabba Live!

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Look how HAPPY they are!

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And check this out; it’s amazing. I was barely coming off my Yo Gabba Gabba high when I saw this super cool window sticker on a minivan in the parking lot at the supermarket. Naturally, I had to snap a picture so I could try to track one down for myself. How freaking cool is this?

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I snapped the picture and headed into the market to do my shopping. Then! Lo and behold, the lady behind the sticker was loading her kidlets into her van when I came out of the store. I marched right up to her and told her how cool her sticker was and … you won’t even believe this, for reals… the lady I met is the sister of Christian Jacobs, creator of Yo Gabba Gabba – and she’s AWESOME and friendly and bubbly and we have kids the same age and she lives right in my ‘hood. What? WHAT? And we even have a mutual friend. (Hi, Becca!) I was so danged starstruck, I can’t even tell you.

And then, I got to spend Arin’s birthday with her (and her whole posse) and it was soooooo much fun. I so rarely get an evening out with my husband, and I really love it when we get to go out and kick our heels up a little. We spend every waking moment adjusting training wheels and shampooing dirty heads and correcting homework and playing Candyland – it’s such a refreshing change to get out there in the world and hang out with GROWNUPS! And spending time with my favorite girl Arin is just the icing on the cake. I love that chick.

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Isn’t she beautiful? I’m so blessed to have such wonderful friends. And hell, to have such a wonderful life! It’s busy, and we never have enough clean clothes, and my kitchen floor is ALWAYS covered in Cap’n Crunch. But wow – it’s so much fun, too. Really. Fall has kicked ass so far and my kids and I are SO EXCITED for Thanksgiving and Christmas – it’s going to be epic. You know what they say: kids and Christmas go together like peanut butter and jelly. And I promise not to disappear for the better part of a month again, okay?

Pablo and Mallory turn SIX.

Six years ago today, I became a mommy of twins – sweet little Pablo and Mallory.

My, how time flies! Here are my big six year olds.

We’re going to be celebrating with all the grandparents, and I believe there are fancy new scooters wrapped up and waiting for them! Wheee!

Sign of a Good Party: Finding People’s Teeth!

The day after our big party, I stepped on something very sharp with my bare feet. It’s odd that this would happen to me at all, because I NEVER am without shoes, from the time I get up until the time I go to bed – I have back issues and my back hurts like hell if I walk around barefoot for more than a few minutes. But, as luck would have it, I ran downstairs in my jammies and bare feet, to move the clothes from the washer to the dryer – and, OUCH – stepped on something sharp. That something sharp was A HUMAN TOOTH, OH MY GOD! It was embedded in the rug in my laundry room, which is right in front of the door that goes to our garage.

Someone LOST A TOOTH at our party. What is the story here?? Did someone do a drunken faceplant into my dryer door? I can’t even imagine how this happened. Who does it belong to? How did they lose it? And why didn’t they say anything? What went ON that I don’t know about??

I immediately looked in the mirror at my own teeth, and then felt stupid, like it would be possible for me to break off half a tooth and not notice. Then I checked all my kids’ mouths, and they weren’t short any teeth that haven’t already been accounted for. Soooo…what now? Should I keep it for good luck? Stick it under my pillow and see what happens? ::shudder::

Is this your tooth? If it is, PLEASE fess up and let us know what happened – we are dying to know!!

Cake Assault, Drunk Karaoke, and wait, there’s more…

Our annual summer bash was a week ago Saturday, on the 25th of July. Which, not coincidentally, was Kayley’s 14th Birthday!! My big girl turned FOURTEEN. Can you believe it? I know some of my readership first got to know Kayley when she was five years old. FIVE! And now, she’s got boobies and purple hair and an iPod. She’s going to be a freshman in a few weeks! Where does the time go?

The party was OUTSTANDING. If you weren’t here, well – you missed out, dude. Paul worked for a solid month building his badass DJ booth, which he designed to match the existing pieces in our finished basement. As you may know, the previous owners put hundreds of hours into finishing this basement, to include custom built-in cabinetry, a wet bar, and a bathroom complete with a URINAL. Total guy zone. The only thing missing was a massive DJ booth that makes the bar itself look like a toy kitchen. And Paul did such a phenomenal job – his work impressed everyone!

DJ Pauly Paul  aka Master Carpenter!

And for the party, we went all out! Paul even bought glowstick necklaces and drink stirrers for everyone. It looked like a rave. Ha! I saw kids looking like LL Cool J, covered in necklaces. Well, if LL Cool J wore glowstick necklaces. You get the idea. He also bought a whole set of tooter shot tubes and Jagerbomb shot cups. And did I mention he constructed an actual STAGE for singing karaoke? It was downright delightful.

We invited every neighbor on our street and all of our friends – and this house felt like it was literally pulsating from the energy of all the music and people and spilled Jagermeister. I can’t believe how many people were here, especially considering that dozens of our friends were off camping or celebrating their wedding anniversary or on vacation. It was crazy times!

And someone decided to smash Kayley in the face with her slice of cake, which was really not very nice. She was pretty upset about it. But damned if that incident didn’t result in one of the funniest pictures I’ve ever seen!! I laughed for 30 seconds straight when I got that one off the camera. Sorry, baby girl.

And hey, you’ll never believe this shit. I was cleaning up the day after the party and guess what I found, embedded in the rug near the door? A tooth. A human tooth. Someone lost their TOOTH at my party. How does that even happen? If you were over here and you’re missing a tooth, holler at me. I saved it for you! Check out the party pictures on Facebook right here.

Debbie Downer here.

God, this blog is just a downer and a half lately, isn’t it? I know it is. I keep thinking I’ll sit down and write something that doesn’t involve headaches, gall bladder attacks, or the fear of dying, and then I just end up dicking around on Facebook or watching The Pickup Artist or something. I know. I’m boring, and I’m bringing this party down! Sorry about that.

Paul and his brothers We went to a birthday party yesterday for Paul’s niece. It was pretty fun. The kids had a blast running all over the place, getting their faces painted, and stuffing themselves full of candy. Things were a little low key, but it was nice getting out of here for a bit. I did take a few pictures of Paul and his brothers, since it’d been ages since all four had been in the same place all at once. Cute, aren’t they? I love how Paul and Jon look like the before picture, and Rene and Ruben look like the after picture. Like they just discovered Hoodia and waxing. S’okay. I like my man to look like a man. I’m not sure I’d dig the baby-smooth skin thing on anyone besides myself and my babies. Men are supposed to be hairy, y’know?

Today, Paul’s organizing the garage. The weather’s cooling off, and I think he’d like to start parking his van indoors. The kids are playing on Starfall.com and staging elaborate Beanie Baby play scenarios in the playroom. Kayley just bequeathed her entire Beanie Baby collection to the little kids, and they’re in heaven. I’ve been doing NOTHING. I cleaned the kitchen and did a half assed job sweeping the floor, and then I took a nap on the couch. Lazy!

Off I go, to do something, anything – I’m feeling pretty sluglike and need to at least throw a load of towels in the wash, so I can climb out from under the guilt of being a neglectful housewife. Blah. Hope you’re having a super Sunday!

Another Sister Weekend!

Kim and Laura My sister was in town last weekend and we had such a blast together! I didn’t even know she was coming until she called me as she was heading up over Vail Pass. She stayed with our parents mostly, but we spent a whole afternoon together hanging out with the kids, and then went out that night.

Paul was helping his friend DJ a wedding, so he didn’t end up meeting us until about 11:30 or so. But we still had fun! We went out with my friend Angie and, drumroll please…my ex-husband, aka Kayley’s dad, Troy! And it wasn’t really that awkward, either, although starting the night at Purple Martini probably helped. Hard liquor just seems to remove the weirdness factor from personal relationships! I’m sure you’ve seen this phenomenon firsthand if you have a handful of friends you only hang out with at the bar, and have nothing in common with in your regular life.

Laura & Kim at Purple Martini It was a splendid night, although it would have been better if Paul had been around for more of it. We ended up going over to Angie’s house for breakfast and didn’t get home until nearly 4 in the morning. And again, I ask myself: why do I think I can still party like a rock star? Clearly, I can’t! It takes me a whole day to recover from it! Still, we got up on Sunday and spent almost the entire day in the sunshine at the Botanic Gardens with the kids, doing lots of fun stuff and checking out Milkshake in concert, which was the bees knees. I’ll write about that a little later. Suffice it to say I was as starstruck as my children!

I’ve missed my sister so much. It’s nice having her around again! We’ve spent more time together in the past year than we have in the last ten. I love that she’s getting to know my kids and I love hearing my parents talk about visiting with her. Not having her around was such a giant void in the family. Yay for sisters!

Monday Morning Check-In!

Good morning! Yay, it’s Monday – my favorite day of the week. So far, I’m completely on schedule with everything I need to do this week! I love how the Mommy guilt switch in my brain resets on Sunday at midnight. I got a lot done last week, but there’s always another MOUNTAIN of laundry to do or toys to pick up or WTFever, y’know? Today, I need to run over to the kids’ new school and finish up some paperwork for them to start KINDERGARTEN! Which begins, get this: next month! Yeah, they just got out of school for the summer, but their new school is on a year round schedule, and school starts the week after Independence Day. They only go for a few weeks and then they’re out for a few weeks, and then they’ll start their 9 weeks on, 3 weeks off schedule for the rest of their school year. Can you believe it? I almost have two kindergarteners!

Over the weekend, we went to a birthday party for a close friend – Angie’s son and Taylor’s little brother, Jackson. He turned three years old! It doesn’t seem like he should be three already – he was a tiny baby at our wedding! But then again, so were Nikki and Lexi, so I guess he’s right on track! The party was out in the country at his grandpa’s house. They roasted a pig (which was the most horrifying thing I’ve seen in awhile – it looked like a dead body inside the barbecue pit!) and the kids got to ride a horse, which was the greatest thing EVER as far as they were concerned. Here are a few pictures of them:

Pablo:

Pablo loving the horse ride!

Nikki and Lexi:

Nikki and Lexi on the horse.

And Mallory:

Mallory on the horse

This one isn’t the best picture ever, since it’s more of the sky than the horse, but I love Mallory’s smile so much here:

The smile says it all!

We had to leave before the crowd dove into the dead pig, because our kids were hot and grouchy and starving and just generally driving us crazy, so I figured they were REALLY driving other people crazy! The kids crashed OUT in the van while we drove across town to pick up Paul’s mom, then all of us went out to eat. They were really ready for bed by the time we finally got home!

And then yesterday was Father’s Day. My dad and Paul’s dad were both over here for a little while to visit with us and the kids. We didn’t really do anything too crazy for Father’s Day, but it was nice to see everybody.

And how was YOUR weekend?

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