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Taking down the Christmas lights – 7/366

January 7, 2012 1 Comment

Today seemed like a perfect day to take down the Christmas lights. Sunny and not TOO cold out. Paul and I worked quickly, along with our little helpers, who really did a very good job pulling lights off bushes and winding them up on spools. I was glad to get that done, especially because it started to get colder the longer we were out there, and by the time we got back in the house, the temps had dropped substantially and it started to snow.

Helping Daddy take down the lights

Before we could come inside, though, Paul and I had to spend some quality time scrubbing the hell out of his minivan and Kayley’s little Camry, because some fucking dickbag egged them last night! I know I did this same type of thing as a stupid teenager, but it sure is a drag being on THIS side of the equation. Between super hot water and a lot of elbow grease, we got all the egg off the cars. I think it’s permanently embedded into the concrete of our driveway, though. Meh.

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LaLa’s Free Advice.

February 2, 2011 3 Comments
WTF?

Trying to get to the bottom of something? Can’t figure out why somebody did something out of character? Wondering if you’re being blown off? If you’re feeling even remotely annoyed, upset, angry, or pissed off, the worst thing you can do is send them an email about your issue. Actually, that’s not the worst thing. The WORST thing is to send them an email from your smartphone, where your message will be even MORE direct and bitchy. Pick up the phone and call them. As I’ve stated time and time again, nearly all miscommunication could be solved if we would just HAVE ACTUAL CONVERSATIONS WITH SPOKEN WORDS and get away from emails and texting. While social media and instant communication most definitely has its place in our society, it’s usually not the most effective tool for getting your problem solved. In fact, I’d venture to guess that most of the time, it messes things up further. Hey, Bitchy McFastFingers – you’ve already got your phone in your hand! Use it to CALL the person instead of sending that text. Betcha five dollars you could have this problem fixed and not be pissed off anymore by the end of a ten minute phone call. Try it!

P.S. If you get voicemail, give them A MINUTE to get back to you. Although it’s hard to believe, others are living lives completely separate from your own, with their own issues to deal with. Chill the fuck out for a second, mmmkay?

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Facebook Amnesty! You can delete me, it’s okay.

September 29, 2009 3 Comments

Rant #2 about how Facebook is destroying blogging.

Facebook is weird. It allows me these constant, instantaneous glimpses into the personal lives of people I care about – and people I barely know, as well. I heard someone describe Facebook recently as a tool that lets you know the intimate details of people you would never speak to in real life. That may be extreme, but it’s close to the truth.

I’ve noticed since I started using Facebook more and more that I’m writing WAY less on my blog. And it’s not just me – I’ve noticed it among almost all of my blogging friends, too. I miss having my blog as an outlet. I use Facebook for that purpose as well, but I’m really craving the “writing about my life” part, and ready to walk away from the “Which 80s Movie Character Are You?” part.

What I’m getting to is this – out of my 286 (fuck, REALLY? 286? Seriously?) friends, I’m guessing the breakdown is something like…

50 people I know in real life, who I like a lot
50 people I knew as casual acquaintances in high school
15 people from high school I’m thrilled to be in contact with and talk to regularly
15 people who are extended family, who I never, ever talked to until Facebook
10 people who are friends of my husband, but whom I really don’t know
30-50 people I know from local social groups, 15 or so who actually talk to me at events
and 100 or so people I know online only, who don’t communicate with me outside of message boards/blog comments.

I’m not saying that’s uncommon – I think that’s true of a lot of Facebook users. Still, it’s feeling WAY out of hand. You know what the problem is? I’ll tell you. It’s NOSTALGIA. We see someone we knew back in the day, and we’re so happy to FIND them again, and we get all caught up and share pictures of our kids, and post a couple of pictures from 20 years ago and laugh about our big hair, and then…that’s it. We realize…this person and I have nothing in common, and we’re out of stuff to talk about. And then we’re stuck making uncomfortable small talk, via “liking” someone’s status updates.

I’m declaring (once again!) FACEBOOK AMNESTY! Unfriend at will. Unfriend me! You won’t hurt my feelings, I promise. If we’re all caught up and you feel like it’s just time to move on with your life, feel free to cut me loose. I won’t be offended. Somebody’s got to do it!

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“Better you than me!”

September 22, 2009 5 Comments

Okay. I’m just curious. WHERE did this phrase come from? Who decided saying “BETTER YOU THAN ME!” was anything other than RUDE? What does it mean, really? It means, “Sucks to be you!”

Why would you ever think to yourself, Gosh, I don’t know what to say here. I want to pay this person a compliment, because they seem to do a good job of (insert life circumstance), but I want to make sure they realize that nobody else would ever choose to do what they are doing. Even though they didn’t choose to do it either, and they’re just doing the best they can. Hmmmm…I know! Better you than me! There. I’ll bet they really appreciated that compliment I gave them right now. God, I’m awesome!

Um, NO. Strike that phrase from your vocabulary altogether. There is NO CIRCUMSTANCE where saying it will make the other person feel good. It’s rude. It just is.

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I’m crabby on the internets today.

June 10, 2009 6 Comments

I’m thinking that I’m spending too much time online. The free time I have is so precious and rare, and it feels like too much of it is frittered away on Google Reader, Twitter, and Facebook. I’ve been finding myself annoyed at things online that never bothered me before, which tells me…might be time to step away from my electronic friend.

Here’s what’s been bugging me. And, if you’re someone who does any of this, please don’t feel like I’m singling you out – I’m not at all. This isn’t a passive aggressive attempt to let someone know I’m annoyed with them. Just my own bitchiness. Okay, here we go. In random order: Things Annoying Me On The Internet!

  • RSS feeds that only show you a snippet of the post. Why even bother having a feed, really? If your post is amazing, hilarious, and entertains me, I WILL CLICK THROUGH AND COMMENT ON IT. I promise. But I don’t like feeling like I HAVE TO click through, just to read what you have to say.
  • Lengthy posts, which go into dramatic detail about how someone’s been wronged by someone else – with absolutely no detail at all about the situation itself or the parties involved. Especially when these posts are a regular feature. I want to support you, I do, but I have no idea if someone killed your relative or just cut you off in traffic.
  • Posts which invoke the LOLCATS style of writing. I just find myself annoyed by this NOW, but it didn’t bother me a couple of years ago. Maybe it’s played out. Maybe I’m played out. I’m not sure.
  • Updates on Twitter that don’t make sense. I mean, I know there’s a story there. You just aren’t effectively conveying it in 160 characters. Nice try, though! Just…write a blog post. Then link to it on Twitter. I’ll go read it! I will!
  • Pairing Twitter and Facebook, so that every single Tweet updates on Facebook as well. I used to do this, and it annoyed ME to see MY OWN crap all over my Facebook page. It annoys me more to see other people’s stuff. Not that you aren’t awesome and cool, but it’s two separate audiences, in a lot of cases. If we’re friends on both places, I don’t really want to read that update twice. And if we’re friends on FB only, I’m not interested in your “retweet” when it appears on Facebook. I can’t click on your @so-and-so and see who they are from Facebook. And you’re probably talking about something that your Facebook friends don’t even care about. If you’re doing this, consider using the Selective Twitter app for Facebook. You just need to add “#fb” to the end of your Tweet, and it will appear on Facebook. Otherwise, it just stays on Twitter.
  • Blog content which is comprised only of Flickr photos, Yelp reviews, memes using Mr. Linky, plugs for contests, sponsored content, and your Twitter feed. Not that there’s anything wrong with any of those things. But, please: celebrate this medium! Write a heartfelt, actual post once in awhile. Share some of your true self. Your readership will love you for it.

Again, wanted to state for the record: I’m not singling out ANYONE, either obviously, or passive aggressively. This isn’t about you. It’s about everyone. And I love everyone! I’m just crabby today, and wanted to put it out there!

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Printer Manufacturers: Get Earth Friendly!

April 25, 2009 Leave a Comment

Ink for my existing Epson RX500 printer: $71.99

Epson CX9400 Fax / copier / printer / scanner, right now at Office Max: $39.99 (I didn’t see it on their site, but trust me – I just grabbed one of the shelf today.)

In these economic times, who in the hell is going to spend twice as much for ink as it costs to buy a brand spankin’ new printer? It’s insane. I wonder how many cheap printers are out there, sitting in landfills.

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And now I’m drinking my dinner.

April 17, 2009 5 Comments

We’re having weird THUNDER SNOW and it seems like it’s causing me to have a weird day. In the span of about half an hour, I…

  • Left my warm house in a blizzard with all my children for apparently no reason, because I ended up dropping Kayley at her dad’s house a half a mile from school. I feel relatively certain if we’d had better communication, K’s dad’s girlfriend could have easily picked her up and saved me the trip. But while I was stuck in the pickup line, I…
  • Sent what I thought was a funny, kind of naughty text to my husband where I mentioned his weiner and the possibility of getting freaky tonight, except I didn’t send it to him. I sent it to HIS BEST FRIEND INSTEAD. So, while I died a thousand deaths, I drove home withOUT Kayley, where I…
  • Got stuck in my own driveway because of all the snow, and had to put my Tahoe in 4wd to get up my driveway, even though we’re NOT SUPPOSED TO USE 4WD AT ALL until we get new tires, because one of our tires is the wrong tread size, and apparently, driving in 4WD while this is the case will cause the engine to fall out or something. I thought I could be sneaky and use 4WD for like, three feet, to get up my driveway and into my garage, but NO, now my Tahoe is STUCK IN 4WD and I’m totally busted! And speaking of busted, I decided to go get the mail while I was out there and I…
  • Fell on my ass between the driveway and the mailbox while wearing Crocs in slippery snow, and left perfect assprints and a left handprint in the snow where I tried to catch myself. I would have taken a picture, but they’ve long been snowed over. While trying to nurse my wounded pride, I called my sister to tell her this story and she laughed at me, and then told my mom about me sending a dirty text to Paul’s friend. Thanks, sissie. Love you!

Colorado springtime snow, you can suck a fat dick. You’ve ruined my whole day!!

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