LaLaGirl - Twinfinite Chaos! Parenting Multiples and Dealing with Autism » I’m Just Sayin’ http://lalagirl.org LaLaGirl - Parenting 2 Sets of Twins and a Child with Autism Wed, 10 Mar 2010 05:26:24 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 en hourly 1 I just want to ORDER a McGangBang! http://lalagirl.org/2010/03/09/i-just-want-to-order-a-mcgangbang/ http://lalagirl.org/2010/03/09/i-just-want-to-order-a-mcgangbang/#comments Tue, 09 Mar 2010 20:17:06 +0000 LaLaLaura http://lalagirl.org/?p=2262 One of the things that’s great about having a teenager is that I always seem to learn new words. Words like…McGANGBANG!

Do you know what a McGangBang is? You can check Urban Dictionary for the official definition, but I’ll fill you in. It’s a McChicken sandwich placed between the two patties of a McDouble. Like so:

McGangBang

I really have no interest whatsoever in EATING a McGangBang, but I do want to order one! I wonder if they’ll know what it is at our Mickey D’s? I’m sure it’s likelier that they know in our old ‘hood.

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]]> http://lalagirl.org/2010/03/09/i-just-want-to-order-a-mcgangbang/feed/ 4 Unbecoming. http://lalagirl.org/2010/02/23/unbecoming/ http://lalagirl.org/2010/02/23/unbecoming/#comments Tue, 23 Feb 2010 16:30:52 +0000 LaLaLaura http://lalagirl.org/?p=2234 That’s what someone told me recently – it’s unbecoming for someone my age, and someone who is a mother of five, to use foul language. And hey, it’s probably true. And if you read my blog, you probably think I have a filthy mouth. Let me tell ya, I use the f-word a whole lot more when I’m writing than when I’m speaking. This blog serves as an outlet for me to vent my frustrations much of the time, so the frustrations of being a mother of five are probably evident in my writings. I’m okay with that.

I am trying to really clean up my language in real life, though. Again – not a huge, super potty mouth or anything, but I do say shit more often than I should. MY HUSBAND is the big potty mouth in our house, and his favorite word seems to be motherfucker. This bothers me not in the least. But I do think it sounds kind of ugly when it comes out of ME.

I’m not talking about those big events, like stubbing your toe so hard you see stars. Sometimes, occasions arise where the f-word just feels appropriate. In those instances, I think you should just go with it. Just let it loose. I’m talking about ordinary, everyday conversation. Have you ever had a conversation with someone who couldn’t come up with any other adjectives besides fucking? You know what I’m talking about. Fucking cold weather we’re having in Colorado today. Yep. Did you see that fucking car slide across the ice? THAT’S what I’m talking about. (And yeah, it IS cold in Colorado today. Brrrr!) I don’t want to be that mom.

And here’s the thing – I’m actually MORE annoyed by that “fake” cussing than I am by the real thing. To me, if you’re going to say “cheese and rice” or “God bless America” or “oh, sugar” or “what the fishsticks”, you might as well just say the real thing. Your intent is already there. Why are we playing this game? You know how for some people, hearing the f-word is like nails on a chalkboard? That’s how it is for me when I hear someone say, “Eff that!” (I will make an exception for, “What the French, toast?” because that commercial just cracks me up.)

I don’t want to hear my kids call each other motherfuckers, but I also don’t want them to think “rubber duckers” is an appropriate substitution. So I’m cleaning it up!

Random LaLa Goodness

]]> http://lalagirl.org/2010/02/23/unbecoming/feed/ 12 My washer is lame. http://lalagirl.org/2010/02/09/my-washer-is-lame/ http://lalagirl.org/2010/02/09/my-washer-is-lame/#comments Tue, 09 Feb 2010 16:51:46 +0000 LaLaLaura http://lalagirl.org/?p=2215 I hate to talk bad about my washer – especially in case I’m tempting fate by doing so – but man is it pissing me off! With four little kids, I find that I’m FREQUENTLY washing bedding, and almost every time I do, I have to run an extra rinse cycle to get rid of all the soap, and an extra spin cycle, too. If I don’t do that extra spin, my kids’ comforters come out weighing thirty pounds because they’re still full of water.

Besides all of THAT, I find that my washer smells like ass a good portion of the time. I regularly clean out the filter assembly, but I’ve recently found out that front loading washers typically smell like mildew. There are a billion sites online where people are bitching about this very thing – I’m surprised nobody’s come out with some special laundry additive for front loaders that takes away the ass smell. I always leave the door open when the washer isn’t in use – but it’s still stinky.

Now you understand my addiction to Gain Apple Mango Tango detergent. I need something intoxicatingly fruity to comfort my offended nose!

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]]> http://lalagirl.org/2010/02/09/my-washer-is-lame/feed/ 11 Costco’s lame, and so am I. http://lalagirl.org/2010/01/29/costcos-lame-and-so-am-i/ http://lalagirl.org/2010/01/29/costcos-lame-and-so-am-i/#comments Fri, 29 Jan 2010 20:56:54 +0000 LaLaLaura http://lalagirl.org/?p=2204 So. I went to Costco about a month ago – actually a little more than that, because it was right before Christmas – and I bought one of those big bags of boneless, skinless chicken breasts. You know the ones I’m talking about? They’re individually wrapped, which I love. Costco’s Kirkland brand individually wrapped chicken breasts are probably the SOLE reason I drive twice as far to shop at Costco rather than just go to Sam’s Club.

A few weeks later, as I’m making my way through the bag o’ chicken breasts one meal at a time, I realized that there were several chicken breasts in the bag which were NOT wrapped! They were just thrown in there, willy nilly. What the hell? No biggie, I thought. Costco has a reputation for taking anything back, so I figured I’d just return the bag. Well, it was the holidays, and my kids were off track from school and home with me, so I kept putting it off. This week, they returned to school, so it’s just the little girls and me – much easier to make a Costco trip. By now, though, we’ve gone through pretty much the entire bag, except for one I left in its individual package, and the three that were without packaging. Still, I didn’t think it would be a big deal.

We hit Costco today, and I showed the manager guy my weird chicken. He made a face and said, “Well, what do you want us to do about this?” I was like…well, I’d just like to get what I paid for. Right? So, he went and got another bag just like the one I was bringing back, ripped it open, and gave me four chicken breasts out of it. Done. Then, I watched him throw the bag on a shelf behind him. I asked what was going to happen to it and he said after they charged it back, they would throw it out. Whaaaa? If you’re going to throw it out, why not just GIVE it to me? Or, lest Costco think I’m trying to slyly scam them out of some chicken, why not just determine the value of the four chicken breasts, and give me that amount in store credit? What a WASTE to just throw out like five pounds of chicken! The hell? People are starving all over the world and we’re just throwing out perfectly good chicken? This is really annoying to me. I’m already annoyed with the endless, wasteful, unnecessary plastic packaging they seal up everything in, and now I realize they just indiscriminately throw shit out, for no good reason at all. So lame. So here’s what I brought home with me today – the bag of chicken I bought, and the four chicken breasts that aren’t sitting in a dumpster right now:

Speaking of lame! Guess how lame I am? We’ve lived in this neighborhood over a year now – actually thirteen months and two days – and JUST TODAY I discovered a third park. The neighborhood is not that big, guys – if you drove around the perimeter of it, it’s less than three miles! There’s a big park just down the street, and a small pocket park basically on the other side of our house. And today, I realized there’s yet another pocket park just a bit further north – about a block from Kayley’s good friend’s house. In my defense, you can’t see it from the street – but to illustrate my dumbassedness, I spent HOURS scrutinizing every landmark on the map before we moved in here, trying to find every last park, pool, Starbucks, Target, and McDonald’s within MILES of this place. And I completely missed finding a park within walking distance of our house. DUH. It’s not a big giant park or anything, but it will be fun to go there once in awhile – they have monkey bars!

Happy Friday, y’all. I’m going to try to talk my sister into meeting me for a beer later. Twist her arm and all of that.

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]]> http://lalagirl.org/2010/01/29/costcos-lame-and-so-am-i/feed/ 8 Uh, an update to that last post. http://lalagirl.org/2010/01/19/uh-an-update-to-that-last-post/ http://lalagirl.org/2010/01/19/uh-an-update-to-that-last-post/#comments Tue, 19 Jan 2010 23:34:35 +0000 LaLaLaura http://lalagirl.org/?p=2193 This morning, I was ready to delete this blog. I used to find so much pleasure in documenting the lives of myself and my family, which is evident by taking a look at my archives – the writings here used to be a lot more prolific. One of my favorite features here is the “On this Date” thing in the sidebar, which links to posts from around this date in previous years. I love looking back at our lives and seeing how things were going on a random boring Tuesday, when my big kids were still in diapers. Probably boring to the rest of the world, but it makes me happy. Lately, though, the joy has been sucked right out of writing for me – mostly because I feel that I have to censor what I write, so that I put out the right image for advertisers and others who might be reading. And that sucks. As careful as I try to be about what I write, I never can seem to say what I want to say without pissing somebody off.

My blog writing has actually been a huge point of contention between my husband and me. He’s a very private person, and having a wife who blogs is difficult for him. We had a big heart-to-heart about the nature of writing online, and how difficult it can be to share things about my life and my family without becoming a stalker’s wet dream. He made me realize that sometimes, it doesn’t matter how carefully you word something, because people are always going to see what they want to see in it.

Who would have ever thought that my husband, who hates everything about blogging, would be the one to talk me off the ledge? He loves me and wants me to be happy, and he knows that writing is what makes me happy. So, at his insistence, I’m going to stick around. My sincere apologies for crying wolf – I hate it when people do that!

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]]> http://lalagirl.org/2010/01/19/uh-an-update-to-that-last-post/feed/ 17 Changes a’coming. http://lalagirl.org/2010/01/19/changes-acoming/ http://lalagirl.org/2010/01/19/changes-acoming/#comments Tue, 19 Jan 2010 20:03:23 +0000 LaLaLaura http://lalagirl.org/?p=2190 2010 is a year of change, and big changes will be taking place here. Just a heads up!

I appreciate all the support and love I’ve gotten from my readership over the years. I’ve always looked to so many of you for guidance, validation, and often just camaraderie. I’d like to offer my sincere thanks to you guys – you mean the world to me! It’s time for the blogosphere to take a back seat to my actual life, though. I’m sure you’ve noticed my posts tapering off over the past few months. You can expect more of that as I take this blog in a new direction. I’m not going to fade into the mist or anything, but the days of sharing the intimate details of my everyday life are over.

If you have any questions, please direct them to me via email. The contact link is above. Love ya!

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]]> http://lalagirl.org/2010/01/19/changes-acoming/feed/ 1 Update to the Campbells/Swanson Mold Thing. http://lalagirl.org/2009/10/16/update-to-the-campbellsswanson-mold-thing/ http://lalagirl.org/2009/10/16/update-to-the-campbellsswanson-mold-thing/#comments Fri, 16 Oct 2009 19:39:09 +0000 LaLaLaura http://lalagirl.org/?p=2077 I had almost forgotten about that whole “mold in my broth” incident. To refresh your memory, I opened a box of chicken broth, and it contained a huge, inch-thick sheet of mold across the surface of the broth. It was SO gross. I contacted Campbells/Swanson (didn’t know they were the same company until I was on hold, listening to, “Mmm, Mmm, Good!” in muzak form) and they apologized, and said they’d send me some coupons the next day. The end. I haven’t even thought about it, until I received a comment this morning on that blog post:

Everyone look at the container picture toward the bottom. There is a large slice in the container that was almost certainly caused by a stock boy slicing the shrink wrap off the entire case. This would cause oxygen to get into container which would then produce mold. This can happen to any carton variety broth.

Huh! Well, maybe that was the case. I decided to look at the original images and zoom in on the area she mentioned. And you know what? I think she’s right. I do see what may be a slice in the packaging. At first, I thought it was just a wrinkle, but it may in fact be a slice. I figured the packaging must have been compromised in some way. That makes perfect sense. Good sleuthing, there!

Then I got curious as to why this random person was so interested in what happened, and I took a closer look at their email. Superman@hotmail.com Really? Really? Your email address is superman@hotmail.com? Not superman23475? It seemed fishy. So I looked at the IP address. Aha! My mystery problem solving reader is someone affiliated with Campbells. And they didn’t get here by accident, either – they got here via a very specific Google search.

Uhhhh…why the game playing? Why is Campbells hiding behind a fake email address, leaving me a comment anonymously? Is THAT how they handle bad press? I never said Campbells/Swansons was at fault for anything – why all the blatant ass-covering? Why is it SO HARD for someone from Campbells/Swanson to just say, “Yeah, that was GROSS! It almost certainly happened after it left our warehouse, but we feel bad that your dinner was ruined, so here’s a coupon, because we’re cool like that.” Just, y’know, some ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. There’s no need to be underhanded and slimy about it. What the hell, man?

And I never got my coupons!

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]]> http://lalagirl.org/2009/10/16/update-to-the-campbellsswanson-mold-thing/feed/ 15 What the…MOLD in unopened Swanson’s Chicken Broth?? http://lalagirl.org/2009/10/01/what-the-mold-in-unopened-swansons-chicken-broth/ http://lalagirl.org/2009/10/01/what-the-mold-in-unopened-swansons-chicken-broth/#comments Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:14:45 +0000 LaLaLaura http://lalagirl.org/?p=2044 Yesterday, the kids and I ventured over to Nick’s Garden Center in Aurora to see how they were coming along with their Halloween setup. Last year, they had this amazing selection of pumpkins, along with lots of fun activities for kids. This year, they assured me that it’s going to be even better – they’re adding a maze and haunted house. Fun! We’ll go back in a week or two and check it out. While we were there, I picked up a bushel of roasted green chiles. Yum! Winter is coming, and I LOVE fresh roasted chiles for making chile rellenos and green chile.

While the kids painted the “baby pumpkins” we bought along with the green chiles, I settled in to make a big, steaming pot of green chile. My meat was sizzling away in the pot when I reached for a box of Swanson’s Chicken Broth – thank GOD I didn’t just dump the thing directly into my green chile, because it was apparently growing an alien baby inside the box. I opened the seal and thought to myself, “Is that MOLD?”


I leaned down and sniffed, and it smelled…mostly like chicken broth. A little like nasty, too. Like chicken broth with a hint of chicken ass. So rather than pour the broth directly into my precious pot of green chile, I decided to pour it in a glass first. Something was definitely STUCK in there, and when I squeezed the box a little, THIS plopped out:

After I ran around the room screaming in horror, I started poking at it. Apparently, it’s a large sheet of mold that formed inside the container of Swanson’s Chicken Broth. I have no idea HOW – it was completely sealed up, and I just bought it a couple of weeks ago. You can see from the expiration date that it’s not old or anything. I poured the rest into the sink, and realized there was more gunk inside the container:

One good squeeze into the sink, though, and the rest of it plopped out. I told you my Swanson’s broth was gestating an alien baby!

Making my own chicken stock sounds SUPER appealing right about now. I can’t even understand how something like this happens? Have you ever seen anything like this? I’m accustomed to the little pat of fat that you find on top of your packaged broth, but a huge sheet of MOLD? Bleahhh!

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]]> http://lalagirl.org/2009/10/01/what-the-mold-in-unopened-swansons-chicken-broth/feed/ 17 Facebook Amnesty! You can delete me, it’s okay. http://lalagirl.org/2009/09/29/facebook-amnesty-you-can-delete-me-its-okay/ http://lalagirl.org/2009/09/29/facebook-amnesty-you-can-delete-me-its-okay/#comments Tue, 29 Sep 2009 19:04:58 +0000 LaLaLaura http://lalagirl.org/?p=2035 Rant #2 about how Facebook is destroying blogging.

Facebook is weird. It allows me these constant, instantaneous glimpses into the personal lives of people I care about – and people I barely know, as well. I heard someone describe Facebook recently as a tool that lets you know the intimate details of people you would never speak to in real life. That may be extreme, but it’s close to the truth.

I’ve noticed since I started using Facebook more and more that I’m writing WAY less on my blog. And it’s not just me – I’ve noticed it among almost all of my blogging friends, too. I miss having my blog as an outlet. I use Facebook for that purpose as well, but I’m really craving the “writing about my life” part, and ready to walk away from the “Which 80s Movie Character Are You?” part.

What I’m getting to is this – out of my 286 (fuck, REALLY? 286? Seriously?) friends, I’m guessing the breakdown is something like…

50 people I know in real life, who I like a lot
50 people I knew as casual acquaintances in high school
15 people from high school I’m thrilled to be in contact with and talk to regularly
15 people who are extended family, who I never, ever talked to until Facebook
10 people who are friends of my husband, but whom I really don’t know
30-50 people I know from local social groups, 15 or so who actually talk to me at events
and 100 or so people I know online only, who don’t communicate with me outside of message boards/blog comments.

I’m not saying that’s uncommon – I think that’s true of a lot of Facebook users. Still, it’s feeling WAY out of hand. You know what the problem is? I’ll tell you. It’s NOSTALGIA. We see someone we knew back in the day, and we’re so happy to FIND them again, and we get all caught up and share pictures of our kids, and post a couple of pictures from 20 years ago and laugh about our big hair, and then…that’s it. We realize…this person and I have nothing in common, and we’re out of stuff to talk about. And then we’re stuck making uncomfortable small talk, via “liking” someone’s status updates.

I’m declaring (once again!) FACEBOOK AMNESTY! Unfriend at will. Unfriend me! You won’t hurt my feelings, I promise. If we’re all caught up and you feel like it’s just time to move on with your life, feel free to cut me loose. I won’t be offended. Somebody’s got to do it!

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]]> http://lalagirl.org/2009/09/29/facebook-amnesty-you-can-delete-me-its-okay/feed/ 3 “Better you than me!” http://lalagirl.org/2009/09/22/better-you-than-me/ http://lalagirl.org/2009/09/22/better-you-than-me/#comments Tue, 22 Sep 2009 14:33:25 +0000 LaLaLaura http://lalagirl.org/?p=2010 Okay. I’m just curious. WHERE did this phrase come from? Who decided saying “BETTER YOU THAN ME!” was anything other than RUDE? What does it mean, really? It means, “Sucks to be you!”

Why would you ever think to yourself, Gosh, I don’t know what to say here. I want to pay this person a compliment, because they seem to do a good job of (insert life circumstance), but I want to make sure they realize that nobody else would ever choose to do what they are doing. Even though they didn’t choose to do it either, and they’re just doing the best they can. Hmmmm…I know! Better you than me! There. I’ll bet they really appreciated that compliment I gave them right now. God, I’m awesome!

Um, NO. Strike that phrase from your vocabulary altogether. There is NO CIRCUMSTANCE where saying it will make the other person feel good. It’s rude. It just is.

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