I’m about to head out of here in a bit to go pick up P and M from kindergarten. Yesterday, I was in the pickup lane and apparently taking too long getting the kids all buckled up, because a guy pulled up next to me and bitched me out about “holding up the line” – he said “You do this every day!” I do? I had no idea! Honestly, I didn’t know it was a line, as in, nobody gets to go until I move. We’re just parked in the fire lane! I’m not blocking any magical exit route or preventing their kids from getting to their car that I’m aware of? I thought it was a situation like at the old school, where you find a spot, the kids get in, and you pull away. I had no idea it was a LINE situation.

The kids started school in July. Here we are in the middle of November, and this is the first I’ve heard that I’m disrupting the whole zenlike experience of picking up children amidst mass chaos. I was embarrassed! And I felt really bad, like I was the pain-in-the-ass parent, spoiling things for everyone. God, no wonder the other parents never talk to me! They’re probably all gathered together having coffee, rolling their eyes and talking about the bitch in the minivan who holds up the line every day.

I left the school with my tail between my legs (uh, so to speak) and headed for home. On the way, I started thinking about it and I started getting pissed about it. I called Paul and told him about it, and he was ready to take the guy’s head off. In fact, he and I just got off the phone and I had to insist to him that he DID NOT need to leave work to meet me at the school so I could point this guy out to him. He maintains that even if I was in the wrong, it was pretty ballsy for the dude to come up and confront me about it, and yell at me. And he made me promise him that if anyone confronted me in the future, I would be less apologetic and polite and make more use of the phrase “fuck off.”

I really hope things go smoothly today and in the future. I hate making a scene and I hate making a spectacle of myself and I’d really rather just BLEND IN, y’know? We’re different enough as it is. Oy. Suburban middle class white men in SUVs are SCARY!

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