It’s feeling weird, really. Over the past ten years, I’ve been at various times a full time college student, a full time employee, a full time mommy (toddler twins and newborn twins? Yeah, that’s pretty damned “full time”) and now, finally, I should be at a place where I can get more done. I should be able to find plenty of time to write. I should be able to do more freelance stuff. But instead, I find myself nearly disconnected from the ‘net. Even during those early, crazy days of having babies at home, I still got online to talk to my mommy friends. But not now! I can’t manage to catch my own ass, and when I find myself with some free time, I don’t want to be online. I want to be outside in the sunshine, listening to my kids bicker with one another. I want to lie on the living room floor while they drive cars up over my head and under my knees.

I’ve got so much on my mind lately that I can’t seem to get anything DONE, though. I have a to-do list a mile long, and I’m walking around in a daze. The house is a pit. The kids are wearing crazy mismatched clothes. I keep getting distracted by stuff, so I have a thousand half-finished projects all over the place. And I’m seriously getting to the point where I want to throw a lit match at my laundry room. Even if I ever manage to get all this laundry done, I’ll NEVER get it put away.

I think a lot of this is because the kids are off track from school. Do you have any idea how hard it is just to take a freakin’ SHOWER with all the kids home? Unless I lock them in the bathroom with me, they’ll be outside walking across the back fence while I’m conditioning. It’s nutty. I’m not sure which is the biggest challenge, having a child with autism or having four children who are very close in age. In both situations, the kids feed off the bad behavior and do things as a group that they would NEVER do individually.

Another week. Then I can find a new excuse for why I can’t get anything done.

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