I’m realizing that there’s nothing worse than listening to a kid whine. Except, of course, listening to a kid FAKE CRY. I’m getting so aggravated, investigating these incidents! Here’s how it usually plays out:

Lexi: WAHHHHHHH-HAAAAAA-HAAAAA! AHHHHHHHH, WAHHHHHH!

Mommy: Lexi! What’s wrong, honey?

Lexi: Mom! I’m not crying, MY BABY IS CRYING. Can’t you hear her? WAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Mommy: Your baby needs to shut the fuck up before Mommy throws her out the car window. Okay, sweetie?

All right, I made up that last line. But seriously, that business gets old in a hurry. And I’m realizing that they can fake cry very realistically. I’m starting to think that probably 82% of the crying I respond to is invalid. Hmph.

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