This has been a quick week. Monday, I had my twin club meeting. Wednesday, I went to a doctor’s appointment and then met my husband for lunch, and on Wednesday night, the two of us had an appointment across town at 8. (Who sets up appointments at EIGHT pm? Seriously?) Last night, I was feeling really bad - I always think I’m about to die of a heart attack for a little while, and then realize it’s my gallbladder acting up. So I went to bed early and made Paul and Kayley put the little ones down at bedtime. And tonight, I’m going to a Mile High Mamas event. And of course, last weekend, we had Taylor’s birthday party, Will’s inauguration as the president of the Denver Board of Realtors, and the Poison concert. And last week, I had a board meeting for my twin club, too.

In other words, I’ve been gone a whole fucking lot, and my kids are REALLY noticing. These little ones really know how to twist that knife, too, and I feel awful about it. When we left the other night, Lexi shouted at us, “You NEVER stay with us! You always LEAVE us!” I actually cried a little as we turned the corner. And I’m seriously debating whether or not to go to this thing tonight. I’ve been looking forward to it for awhile, and I’m dragging my sister along with me, but still - the guilt is consuming me! My poor children, forced to hang out with Nana and Kayley, watching cartoons and eating ice cream all day.

My MIL left yesterday, so my babysitter is officially gone. For some reason it seems like we do NOTHING for weeks and weeks, and then everything hits at once, and we have a whole lot of stuff going on over a period of a few days. This has been the case many times in the past, and I always end up feeling massive mommy guilt about it. This has been the longest period ever, though, where I’ve completely ignored my children. It’s killing me.

Possibly Related

• October 2, 2008 -- Just trying to catch my own ass, here.
• November 3, 2008 -- Unplugged.
• September 4, 2008 -- Gahh! I don’t adapt well.