I’m SURE you’ve been wondering exactly what the hell’s been going on in my world besides all this corrupted database/wonky ass domain redirect bullshit. And, I’m gonna tell ya.

Okay. The kids! They started Kindergarten. I mentioned that, but I failed to mention how completely stressed out I was about all of it because I was doing everything all by my lonesome, while Paul was off being a big, bad biker. I got the kids registered at their new school, bought school supplies, took the kids to orientation, washed and hung all their school clothes, and then took them to their first day of kindergarten by myself. (Well, with Kayley.)

Walking into school with sissy.

Looking back now, I’m thinking, “So?” but at the time, I was freaking the fuck out. I really don’t know why. Paul goes to Sturgis every year, and I do FINE while he’s gone. One year, I even threw a party! The infamous Mommy’s Happy Hour Playdate of 2006. Last year, I kept the kids in their good routine, and even got up early every day. Go, me. But this time, I just couldn’t hang, man. I don’t know why. I have no idea what my deal was. I was kind of struck down by some serious anxiety, though. I’ve not dealt with a whole lot of anxiety, so I wasn’t sure if that’s what it was, or if I was losing my mind altogether. Either possibility seemed plausible. So while Paul was off hanging around with these guys:

The Boys heading to Hollister

doing things like this:

Steve and Paul in the hot tub in Big Bear

I was mostly sitting at home hanging out with these knuckleheads:

Enjoying apples while the dough rises.

doing stuff like this:

Too many kids in the tub.

I know. There’s nothing more relaxing than a nice quiet soak in the tub.

By the end of the week, I was really starting to freak out about being the only adult in the house, so I invited these two over for a beer:

John & John

Honestly, I think having the two of them over helped calm my nerves quite a bit. It’s always grounding, I think, to visit with people who’ve known you most of your life. And it was a blast watching them play with my kids!

Paul was gone for ten whole days. That’s a longass time to be gone. I think it’s more like the equivalent of being gone at least a month, since I was on my own with five children. I think you can almost measure it out in dog years under those circumstances. And again, I usually do so well! I’m supermom, man! This time, not so much. I had so many moments where I just couldn’t calm down - it’s almost like I was paralyzed by this intense, crushing sense of dread. I don’t know if I was freaking out because my husband was a thousand miles away, riding around on a motorcycle dodging wildfires, or if it was because the kids were starting kindergarten. Maybe both. Whatever the cause, though, it SUCKED. It really sucked ass.

And it’s not as though I was completely on my own, either - I had Kayley with me almost the whole time. And my mom came over one night so I could go to a twin club board meeting. I barely made it to the meeting, though, because I kept finding myself bawling, all the way there. I just could not seem to pull up my big girl britches and get my shit together, for the life of me. I made it, though. I went to the meeting, I took the kids to kindergarten all week, I did stuff with the kids. And then when Paul came home, I swear, the sense of relief was almost overwhelming!

And I figured, the best thing for me to do once Paul got home was to get the heck out of dodge myself. So, when my sister invited me to come up to Vail for the weekend to hang out, I jumped at the chance! I drove up there Friday night and we had such a good time doing absolutely nothing.

Almost to Vail.

She’s broke; I’m broke, and there isn’t much to do in a resort town without spending a bunch of cash, so we just hung out at her hotel. We walked across the street to the bar a couple of times, but mostly we just drank wine and sat in the hot tub:

Kim and Laura

God, it was glorious. I usually feel guilty about not doing something fun and exciting during my alone time, since those stolen moments happen so infrequently. But this time, I just went with it. I laid in bed in an air conditioned hotel room and slept in reeeeeally late. I took advantage of the free wi-fi and watched every clip on YouTube that went into the making of that new Weezer video, Pork and Beans. I read an entire Cosmo magazine. I got a pedicure!

0719081448.jpg

And then I came home, and dicked around with my WordPress installation for two whole days. I guess that’s the end of my story! Supermom Gets Taken Down A Notch By Her Own Neurosis.

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