I’m falling apart!
Seriously, I feel like an old lady or something.
First of all, I’ve been watching some DVDs Kayley’s dad burned out for me of our old home movies when Kayley was little. And it’s a little traumatizing, realizing just how many YEARS I walked around in black leggings and oversized t-shirts. And I can’t believe nobody ever took me aside, or even wrote me an anonymous letter, and told me to give up the overall shorts. Also? What the hell was up with my GIGANTIC hair? My hair in 1997 was taller than my hair last week when I teased it to hell and back for the 80s theme party. I’m too embarrassed to show any of this footage to Paul, although he’d probably appreciate what a TOTAL MILF I am NOW, even during my broken-down almost-mid-thirties. Or am I just fooling myself, and I’m going to look at home movies of baby Pablo and Mallory when they’re teenagers and cringe at my sideswept bangs and flippy layers? Surely, SURELY, I look better today. I have to. Gawd, how embarrassing.
But I see myself in these videos, and I’m runnin’ around all crazy, scrambling around on the floor with Kayley, dashing across the yard with the dog, and I think…man, I was in good shape for a fat girl! I read a quote from George Clooney once where he said he believes everyone has a year of their life where they age an entire decade, and I think that’s what happened to me the year I had seventeen children. I always heard it’s hard on your body to endure back-to-back pregnancies, but I never thought much of it. Seriously, though – gestating litters of children really beat the hell out of my body, and it’s never bounced back! I hurt when I bend over. I hurt when I climb stairs. I hurt when I sit down too long. I hurt when I lie in bed. The only things that don’t hurt are standing still and walking. But not slow walking, that hurts even more! It has to be nice, brisk walking, which is something that NEVER EVER HAPPENS once your kids outgrow the stroller. It’s all about moseying along, taking time to inspect every flower and sidewalk crack and pebble along the way. How am I ever going to get in shape with all these children climbing all over me?
And today, I’m having even more weirdness than usual. My neck hurts. My jaw hurts. My ear hurts. I swear, if I were a dog, they’d be “sending me to live on a farm” right about now. It’s all I can do to sit here and look at my messy house, wondering if I’m ever going to have a nice, clean, organized system in place again. I’m starting to rethink my stance on folks doping out on meth. Hey, at least I’d lose some weight and have a clean house, right? Who needs teeth, really?
Popularity: 14% [?]
Laura, also known as LaLaGirl, is the mother of a teenager and two young sets of twins. She's happily married, loves living in Colorado, and writes almost daily about married life, raising multiples, and parenting a child with autism.
Questions? Just 
January 10th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Having back to back children, and then a hysterectomy right after KILLED my body. The past two years turned me into an old hag. *sigh* I love my kids…HATE what they did to my body (they didn’t do ALL of it…the hysterectomy finished me off…but I digress).
January 10th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
Oh agreed, 100% agreed. When I had my last two my body groaned, like a creaking old ship.
By the end of the day, I am aching all over.
Hugs, Winter doesn’t help anything either
January 10th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
LMAO… Shut up Laura. Hey you should post a pic up of the leggings days!
January 11th, 2008 at 9:30 am
You slay me!!!!
You should be writing for a major newspaper, Laura! I’d go back and pick out all the stuff that made me laugh, chuckle, and grin but that’d take too long to do!
You need to submit your blog archives to some newspapers because I think you’d be a great social columnist!
And, by the way….boy, can I relate! ha!
January 11th, 2008 at 9:55 am
Laura, I cringe at pictures taken over 5 years ago of me. Cringe! And it’s been consistent – 5 years or older makes me shudder at what I looked like then. So just know that at the time you were a MILF and move on.
January 14th, 2008 at 12:07 am
I creak and crack all the time now. And I”m only 32!!!!! I swear though, I feel every day of it (that’s no saying much) but I am already starting on the “man I’m feeling old”…. but I can say I don’t have leggings.
January 14th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Yeah, but it’s what’s printed on the over-sized t-shirts that counts. The ones I wore after my first child was born all featured doggies. Not especially chic. In fact, the ultimate uncool. I may as well have had a stamp on my head reading, “Yes, I am a huge geek!”
And a thousand times yes to the aches and pains–I seriously think my back is going to explode at any minute.
If it does, hopefully I can take out at least one dog shirt with it.
January 15th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Overall shorts!!!! Man, you just brought me back Laura….
January 20th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Wait a tick, I had overall shorts when I was pregnant with gavin and that was ‘04…HA!
You totally crack me up. I’ve only had two kids and I feel the same way when I bend over, sit to long, or go up the stairs. I am so out of shape though.
January 8th, 2010 at 7:07 pm
I just got a meth vision and it wasn’t pretty! Are you getting sick? This past week I felt that way and came down with strep. But yes, I had the big hair, the overall shorts that I totally loved and I wore them with the white keds that were popular and even bleached my BIG hair blonde. I look back and think how hideous I was and why didn’t someone stop me but apparently we looked good. Right? I just hope I don’t look back on photos of now and think the same thing….