The dog ate it.
I’m on the fence about something and it’s really bugging me! It’s no secret that I think Mallory’s preschool teacher is…overzealous…when it comes to certain things. One of those things is homework. They’re supposed to do homework every night. It actually comes in the form of a packet of a whole bunch of pages that goes home with us on Wednesdays, to be returned the following Wednesday. We have never yet found the time to do homework every night, so usually Mallory ends up spending half an hour coloring and stuff on Tuesday nights. I haven’t stressed much about all of this, because honestly, I think it’s just silly to expect kids in preschool to do homework every night. Even though she is super EXCITED about it and would LOVE to do it, it’s ME who hasn’t carved out the time to sit down every single night. It just isn’t that important to me, because I feel like it’s ME who is shouldering the responsibility and not her, and that isn’t what homework is about. She’s going to have years upon years of lugging books home and sitting at the kitchen table while I bug her to complete her work – it just seems ridiculous to practice for all of that NOW, at age four, when she already spends time every day in class working on these same skills. The teacher returned a couple of weeks’ worth of homework to us once, and wrote notes on the pages like, “You can color more neatly, Mallory” and wanted her to redo some of it, complete a page that had accidentally been skipped, and turn it all back in. I threw it away when we got home. Why? Why is this so critical? She isn’t being graded. I am not being graded. Her teacher keeps mentioning that during the end-of-the-year continuation ceremony, they pass out awards, and one of the “coveted” awards is the one given to the kids who turn in their homework on time throughout the entire school year. I want to tell her just to scratch our name off the list now, and add us to the anti-award list instead. It’s all just so lame to me!
So. With all of that in mind, I had a moment yesterday where I felt like a real heel. One day last week, a note went home, instructing us on a special homework assignment, for the student and parent to work on together. We were supposed to find empty boxes, glue them together, and paint them to look like some sort of adobe house. OR, we could get a margarine tub lid and a paper bag and … some straws, I guess, and use those to construct a tee-pee. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I guess they’re having a school-wide art thing going on, maybe? And she wanted stuff from her students to display? I immediately blew off the idea. Pablo’s been struggling a little bit and we’ve had to spend some extra time with him – I think he’s about to go through another “brain growth spurt” which is always ROUGH on us the weeks before – the girls have been potty training, so we’ve been spending lots and LOTS of time in the bathroom – and Paul’s been gone every spare moment, working on rebuilding the bathroom at his rental property. I haven’t had a whole lot of time to sit down and be crafty lately. And, again, I think it’s ridiculous that homework is coming home FOR ME to do. Alllll of that stuff really doesn’t matter, though. I’m sure if I wasn’t being such a baby about it, I could have found a half an hour SOMEWHERE over the long weekend to make the stupid project. Truth be told, I forgot all about it, until yesterday when we were lining up for school, and EVERY PARENT had a teepee or an adobe house in their hands to turn in. Mallory looked at me and said, “Hey, everybody brought something to school today. But I don’t have anything to bring!” Awwwww. That’s because your mommy is a big slacker, Mallory!
So, I’m just…yeah. Having a moment, here. I’m really feeling guilty about not doing the stupid project, even though I think it’s stupid that it’s even being asked of me. What should I have done?
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Laura, also known as LaLaGirl, is the mother of a teenager and two young sets of twins. She's happily married, loves living in Colorado, and writes almost daily about married life, raising multiples, and parenting a child with autism.
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November 15th, 2007 at 10:04 am
I can’t believe she has homework in preschool. That is crazy!! I don’t know what I would do. I thought homework everynight in kindergarten was nuts. It’s getting out of control.
November 15th, 2007 at 10:24 am
I feel the same way about Brenden having homework every night in Kindergarten. You are right, it’s the kids’ homework, it’s the parents and sometimes in the chaos called life, there just isn’t enough hours in the day to get to homework.
November 15th, 2007 at 10:29 am
I think it’s ridiculous to have that much homework in preschool. And teachers forget that some of us are parents of more than one child… and in our case, a LOT of children. I would have done the tee pee project, though…. but knowing me it would have been thrown together last minute. I’d have Mallory do the best she can on the busy work (the homework papers sent home) and leave it at that. I too would not have made her redo anything at such a young age. She’s FOUR.. not 14.
November 15th, 2007 at 11:16 am
I feel the exact same way!! Homework in preschool?! Ridiculous.
And, also, I would have ended up the same way (and did on several occassions)…the only parent without the crafty project for my DS. I feel like a terrible mother for a brief moment before I remember…I have a LOT going on at home and I’m so far from a Type A personality that I can’t be concerned with getting everything done.
As was said…she’s 4…let her be a kid. It may be preschool…but homework?!?! Please.
November 15th, 2007 at 11:36 am
Holy crap! I would find another pre-school. I suppose for some this is fine but I sure as hell don’t have the time and inclination to keep up with that kind of thing. Once in a while? Ok maybe. Every week? Un uh. Everyday? No way in HELL! And I only have one 3 year old! YOU have two sets of twins plus one! I love that our day care does fun pre-schooley things like art projects and music AT DAYCARE so he is getting the skills he needs but no way am I ready to bring that home. I have a hard enough time getting through dinner, bath, brushing teeth, stories and subsequent stalling to get J in bed by 9:00 (much less 8:30 which I aim for). Do a project too? No way. And our weekends? His Dad doesn’t see him all week. Weekends we try to do fun family stuff. And to me that doesn’t usually include my child coloring at the table. I have a hard enough time squeezing in some baking time together on occassion. The great thing about pre-school is supposed to be that they get a chance to do art and stuff AT SCHOOL so you don’t HAVE to worry about trying to squeeze it in and supervise it at home. Isn’t that the whole point of pre-school? To go THERE and do that kind of stuff?
I so totally don’t think you are out of line thinking this is crazy.
November 15th, 2007 at 11:41 am
And another thing….
Homework is for kids who are old enough to sit down at the table and do it mostly on their own. Older kids can get themselves ready for bed and can get through an evening routine without much help or supervision. I am tired enough trying to get through that routine without adding to it. Don’t even THINK about giving MY kid homework before first grade!!!
November 15th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
I thought it odd when I read she had homework in preschool. Mine didn’t but until kindergarten and I felt the same way you do about carving the time to do it. It’s silly to have homework at a young age. First grade is plenty of time to start learning the habit.
But really got me in this post, is how she is telling Mal that she can do better and to redo some of her work. I think this needs to be brought up with the director because it seems WAY over the top. When my twins were in preschool, they would swoon over everything the children did, even if the letters were backwards or the clouds were colored green. They are four for crying out loud!
Sorry about the house project. I actually felt my heart ache when I read it because I know what that feels like. We have forgotten some a time or two and it rips at you to see all the others kids with their projects and not your childs. Don’t be too hard on yourself…we have all done it and probably will again.
Ya know, keep up the good work Laura. You are raising great kids and not because you made a teepee at eleven oclock Sunday night.
November 15th, 2007 at 1:06 pm
And I thought it was crazy that my nephew had homework in Kindergarten!
I spoke with the neighbor two weeks ago and she was just about to get her first grade son started on his homework and he wasn’t finished for FOUR HOURS!!!!!
I hated homework.
November 15th, 2007 at 2:48 pm
Holy cow! I have almost this same exact post on my blog (except for the teepee). My daughter is in kindergarten and I’m amazed at the amount of homework we’re getting there. Seems like quite a bit of the work is for the parents not the kids. I thought I already went through kindergarten but I guess this is my remedial course.
I’m thinking I might be changing preschools. “You can color more neatly?” Really? Ouch!!
November 15th, 2007 at 6:41 pm
I second what everyone else has said here. I bristle at pre-schools with ‘expectations’ for three year-olds beyond them just enjoying being three, washing their hands before they eat and after they go to the bathroom, and learning to take turns and play fair with each other. Anything else my child picks up (i.e. alphabet, numbers, or other “academics”) is purely incidental at this age. I adore my daughter’s pre-school. The teachers read to them, play music with them, and do a lot of other stimulating activities; but told us flat-out at Parents’ Night that there is no stressing of academics in their class beyond what the kids pick up from songs and story activities. I sent my oldest daughter to a montessori pre-school that stressed more school-like situations. I have to admit if I could do it over, I would have sent her where her youngest sister goes. She will have 1-12th grade for homework. For now, I’m glad she gets to be a pre-schooler.
November 15th, 2007 at 8:02 pm
I can’t believe they’re doing (or expected to do, lol) nightly homework in preschool! That just floors me! Ridiculous! If you have time to do it, do it…but if you don’t…totally don’t sweat it! You are the kind of mom that is always interacting with your kids, and providing real-life learning experiences which, in my opinion, are WAY more important at age 4 than doing a color-sheet!
As for the adobe/tepee project? We have a couple “big” projects like that in our preschool too, but we always keep a “spare” for the inevitable child who doesn’t bring one. Could that have happened for Mallory? It kind of doesn’t sound like her teacher would do that. At any rate, at this age level, I’d be more inclined to do the “big projects” than the nightly homework…if for nothing else than the big stuff is more visible to the other kids, etc. But…I wouldn’t sweat it. Really.
(I tagged you for that “7 things about me meme” that seems to be endlessly circling the blogosphere. Wanna play again? LOL!)
November 15th, 2007 at 10:31 pm
Truthfully, I’d have said I forgot it and gone home and slapped one together because I’m a people pleaser and authority figures (even preschool teachers) scare me. But I so totally agree that 4 is too young for home work and especially too young to be told “color more neatly” give me a break! that’s c*r*a*p!!!
November 15th, 2007 at 10:37 pm
What everyone else said.
Well, except I didn’t tag you for any lame memes like some people. *cough*Cindy*cough*
Also, in an effort to make you feel better, consider this: today Rob and I both forgot about Aric’s parent-teacher conference. Woops!
November 15th, 2007 at 11:31 pm
Maybe tell that teacher who has way less than the normal amount of kids to get a real life? I dunno. We skip the whole school scene. But you are a great mom, and that’s what matters!
November 16th, 2007 at 10:17 am
It sounds like this teacher enjoys having power over parents. Ugh.
November 16th, 2007 at 8:30 pm
Yeah, teacher sounds like she’s on a power trip of sorts and making ridiculous demands of all the parents’ time. Nightly homework in preschool is utter nonsense. And, now, here you are feeling like a louse because you didn’t/couldn’t get it done when it’s really HER fault because her expectations are unrealistic and burdensome.
I would tell Mallory that everyone else had a project because they don’t have 5 small kids living in the same house, competing for the same time.
You aren’t superhuman. PMO!
November 16th, 2007 at 8:54 pm
That’s crazy, really. I was a preschool teacher and never would have dreamed of sending homework with the kids. I’m an advocate of play and art based learning at that age. Once in a while I’d send home a note to bring a family picture or that sort of thing or maybe an egg carton. I honestly can’t figure out why they didn’t do the tee pees during class time though. I’m sorry you felt bad. I just remembered that when Brady was in Toddler class I was supposed to save eggshells and bring them in a paper sack. Somehow I missed the paper sack part and had stored them in a Ziplock. I guess they get a bit stinky that way. The teacher just laughed though and said she brought extras because every year there’s one parent who does what I did.
November 17th, 2007 at 12:11 am
Wow, I hate homework at any age. I know, I know, it probably is helpful, but I honestly hate it. I always have.
I am amazed at how ‘life’ has changed since Joey was in kinder. They learned to write their names and phone numbers. Started writing the alphabet and did some reading. A lot of fun stuff too. And now look at Mallory.. shesh. She may be doing more in pre-school then he did in Kinder. Lets see where “school” is in 4 years when Aiden goes! Scares me to be honest.
November 17th, 2007 at 10:53 pm
Okay first – I heart you!
Seriously her teacher said, “You can color more neatly, Mallory”? OMFG well maybe she look for a new career. Also, if you think Mallory was sad at all about not having a project with her at school – I’m sure you and Pablo could make something with her at home and she’ll forget about it. Or…. I’ll come over and show lil Miss Mallory and different style of Teepee!!! 
hahaha – Yeah I sound like I’m in Junior High but blah blah blah!
November 19th, 2007 at 7:28 pm
WTF? homework in preschoo? oh hell no, I wouldn’t do it and that’s the thing of course the parent is the one enforcing it. Reading to your kid, art projects, fun activities are all cool but to have them required for preschool just wouldn’t fly for me.